former ghost tour diary #3

on sunday is our booking person’s birthday and we are going to be playing in his city, berlin. we debated if we should get him a silly present or a nice one. we decided on something useful: a 3 liter jug of personal lube with a pump on the top.¬†we do not know what he is interested in but figured that this would service almost anything he might like.

there is a very special and well known sex store in vienna. it is well known only however for its display window which is decorated with tin foil, faded construction paper hearts, dim looking dvd cases and really just a lot of dirt. it is like a sexy preschool crime scene, pink DARKNESS fading into grey.

we determine ahead of time that if there is no music playing inside we will walk out immediately. it is creepy beyond creepy when you walk into a B-grade sex store and it is silent.

so of course we go in and there is no music but we ask the woman behind the counter anyway, who is doing a puzzle and quite literally scowling at us, if she has this massive jug of lube. she points at some huge dildos and we try to make it clear we need a huge jug of lube not a huge dildo but she does not care and goes back to her puzzle.

later tonight we played in nuremberg. the 90’s prodigy twisted fire starter/scooter band before us was- quothe jakub

“so macho that they turned all the gay people in the audience straight.” this is the kind of band that makes me hate people. not that that is all that hard to do but these guys really really brought it out in me tonight.

the first time i played in nuremberg there was a sparrow that had either been attacked or had a some disease but all the feathers on its head were gone so there was just a skull with a beak and eyes there. it, and i am not making this up, chased wilbert williams and myself for about 2 blocks. it was actually terrifying to be hunted but this demon skeleton filth bird. earlier in the day we visited the stadium hitler used to whip the masses into a genocidal rage. the bird did not help.

we are sleeping at eva’s house. she is playing fugazi. they sound amazing.

right now jakub is holding a pineapple and looking at the ceiling. freddy is drinking a shot. the fly on my pants has broken and i am not sure if i should just tape it shut or if that is even stupider than thinking about taping it shut.

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