suicidal thought of the day

there is a mockingbird that sings outside my door in the tree on the side walk every night. i listen until i have to go to sleep, which is only possible if i take melotonin. a small white pill. i am sure it is a placebo and if i swallowed the tip off of a tampon it would have the same effect. i heard that mocking birds sing to find a mate. this bird has been there for months. singing every night, sometimes i try and imitate all of its songs back to it, and it will sing back to me. when i stop i wonder if it feels more alone and fruitless in its beautiful call than before. today i went to a singing doctor to keep working on my own stupid and blasted singing voice. she told me that my vocal chords look like a vagina. i was to fuck her so bad, dr. reena gupta. if you see her tell her she can come over any time and i will do everything i can to make sure it was worth drive over from the west side.